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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27965261">They're Level 3</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adamnedusername/pseuds/Adamnedusername'>Adamnedusername</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Pray for The DM Yall, for The Players Know Not What They Do [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hermitcraft RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Dungeons &amp; Dragons, Cleo heards cats, DnD typical violence, Gen, No editors I die like a man learning to edit by myself, Pray for her yall, dnd 5e</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 14:55:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,300</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27965261</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adamnedusername/pseuds/Adamnedusername</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when a heavily bullied runaway sorcerer prince, a druid who was accidentally abandoned by his parents, a GOOlock who was kicked out of wizard school for "practicing" the dark arts, a faelock whose parents and older brother were executed for consorting with the fae, and a bard with a happy childhood go on a quest together?</p><p>Cleo decides to level up the party and throw goblins at them.  What could go wrong?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Pray for The DM Yall, for The Players Know Not What They Do [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2008246</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>They're Level 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Yes, this is a series.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><span>Today was a special day.  As the party sat around the table, Cleo came in, not putting her DM screen up.  That was for later.  Right now, they were all leveling up and becoming level 3 adventurers, and this meant she felt she had to have the table more open to help them jot their new abilities onto their character sheets before turning them loose to test their new abilities on some goblins. </span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>However, before they got new abilities, they all decided to have a little health contest.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Whoever gets the most health gets all the snacks,” Grian said.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>The others laughed, grabbing their d8s as Grian grabbed his d6.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>5, 4, 7, 8, 1.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“We ignore 1’s.  Roll again Cub.” Cleo said.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>Cub rolled again, hoping for an 8.  He only got a 2.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>After adding rolls, and con mods(and additional subclass hitpoints), the group checked each other’s hit points to see who had the most, and then conceded defeat and handed Mumbo all the snacks when they saw he had 30 hit points as opposed to their high teens or Zed’s flat 20.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Dude, why do you have so many hit points?” Grian asked.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“I’ll probably lose like half of them falling down a flight of stairs,” Mumbo said, an air of certainty in his voice as he took the snacks.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>Everyone ignored Mumbo acknowledging his klutziness and went back to filling out their character sheets when Cub spoke up.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“He Mumbo, we get out pact boons this level,” he said with a wicked grin.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Oh sweet.”  The spoon replied.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>Scar got a little curious.  “What are your pact boons?” he asked.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“I get to summon a familiar,” Cub answered.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“That’s so cute!” Scar gushed before turning to Mumbo, “And what do you get?”</span><span><br/></span></p><p><span>“I get 3 extra cantrips, and can cast ritual spells as rituals if I have my cursed spellbook,”  Mumbo said.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>Scar and Zed exchanged a look before Mumbo’s phone buzzed.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>He checked it, and “Why did you guys add me to the healer’s chat?” he asked.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Dang it!  Forgot to change the name!” Zed said as he pulled his phone out at the table.  Within a matter of seconds, he had the group name changed to ritual planning before turning to Grian.  “What new abilities are you getting this level?”</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>Grian couldn’t remember, so he turned to the book.  Within seconds his face lit up. “I get to cast silent fireballs!” he shouted in excitement.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“No, you don’t.  You don’t get fireball this level.”  Cleo corrected, dousing Grian’s excitement.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Give it two more levels.”</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>A little spark of excitement returned to Grian.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Do I get to be a sloth this level Cleo?” Scar asked.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“No, that’s next level when you unlock creatures with a swim speed,” Cleo said.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Wait, hold up,” Mumbo butted in, “Sloths can swim?!”</span></p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sloths can swim.” Cleo said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mumbo accepted this and turned his attention back to Scar. “What </span>
  <em>
    <span>do </span>
  </em>
  <span>you get this level?” he asked.</span>
</p><p><span>“Well, since I don’t get to be a sloth, I just get a new spell.” Scar said, turning to Zed, “What do you get?”</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“3 more skills,” Zed said as he and the others finished up their character sheets.  “So now I’m the party’s tank and skill monkey.”</span></p><p><span>“Yeah, but I think you knew what you were getting into when you picked bard and said you were gonna try and be the party’s tank.” She then addressed the whole party.  <br/><br/>“Are you all ready?” </span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>They all said yes, and she started the session.  “You all are walking down the road after running away from the scarecrows…”</span></p><p><span>“Hey, we’re going to go back and deal with those scarecrows when we’re more powerful!  This group goes back and finishes what they start.” Grian interrupted.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“What about the business with those paladins?” Cleo asked.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>That shut him up, and Cleo continued setting the scene.  “Anyway, while walking down the road, you hear horses.”</span></p><p><span>“Oh crap, the paladins!” Grian yelled as they all jumped into the bushes, prompting a stealth check.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>Luckily for them, they were able to hide in the bushes without the horses’ riders noticing them, but they also noticed they weren’t hiding from horrifying war paladins, but two small goblins, one with a red bandana, and one with a gold earring in his green pointed ear, with a horse-drawn cart carrying an enormous pile of gold coins.  And once the group heard the sound of a wood axle crack, they learned that these particular goblins were absolute shite at tool upkeep.  The two goblins jumped out to examine the axle.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Dang it.  The axle broke again.” The first goblin, the one with the bandana said.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Why doesn’t boss buy us better axels?  We’ve been robbing everyone on this stretch of road for years.  Why doesn’t he spend it getting us better tools?” the gold earinged one snarled.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Why don’t you tell him that?” red bandana-wearing one shot back.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Okay, I will tell that booger brain to stop sitting on the pile and shell out!”</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>Then the red bandanded one slapped his ally upside the head.  “You booger brain!  That was not what I meant.”</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>The two goblins started fighting, leaving their bush stalkers wondering if they’re really the only adventurers around capable of dealing with this.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Does anyone know mending?” Mumbo asked.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>They all looked at him.</span></p><p>
  <span>“Oh right, I’m the mending guy.” he sighed.</span>
</p><p><span>The party stepped out of the bushes, pushing Mumbo ahead to talk to the goblins.  “Excuse me, gentleman.”  The two goblins stopped fighting and looked to the tall man interrupting their scrap.  “Hello, I seem to have noticed your wagon is out of commission.  I’ll gladly mend it for you if you take us to your home for dinner.”</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>The two goblins paused to think.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Roll persuasion,” Cleo called.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>Mumbo rolled a 10 and regretted the fact he didn’t have persuasion as a skill.  Right now he was hoping his +3 to general charisma would persuade these goblins.</span></p><p><span>Meanwhile, Cleo rolled for the goblins, and they got a 17 and an 8, and even with the -1 modifier, the red bandana-wearing goblin replied “Of course.”</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“No you booger brain, they…” but the gold earring wearing goblin’s protest was cut with a swift punch to the gut as Mumbo went and fixed the axle.  Within a minute, the axle was fixed, and the was in the back of a goblin gold wagon heading to a goblin den.  While riding, a wooden object amidst the sparkling gold mound caught Zed’s eye.  These goblins stole someone’s hand crossbow, and he plans to steal it for himself(or at least steal it back for the rightful owner.)  With a smooth swipe, Zed picked the bow out of the gold and stashed it in his bag.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>Sometime after that bit of robbing robbers, the goblins pulled the cart into a lot with a small cave mouth at the end with two other empty and half-decent carts and parked by the mouth.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>The red bandanaed goblin then stood up, turned to the cave mouth, and shouted “Hey guys!  We got some booger brained newbs in the cart fresh for robbing!”</span><span><br/></span> <span>Mumbo turned to him.  “The agreement was you take us to the den!”</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Yes, but you didn’t say we couldn’t rob you.” the goblin stipulated.</span></p><p><span>The group wasn’t going to bother arguing social conventions with a robber and opted to jump out of the cart into the lot.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Okay, since you guys have a cart full of gold in front of you, roll initiative,”  Cleo said.  “I’ll add the goblins later, but now you get a free round as goblins try and jump over the gold.”</span></p><p><span>Cleo would come to regret that kindness as the goblins reached the top of the pile ready to lunge, and the party got ready to defend themselves.  Cub summoned a bear, and Grian, Scar, and Zed summoned a barrage.  Zed stepped forward to cast thunderwave, producing an epic lute riff that knocked most of the goblins back 10 feet and spilling the pile of gold before running back to get out of the way of the others’ spells.  After Zed brought the sound, Scar brought the light, hitting the goblins who already got tossed by the thunderwave with a moonbeam.  What was surprising was some of the goblins didn’t walk into the light at the end of the tunnel after that getting hit by not one but two area of effect spells.  Grian didn’t even bother to give the non knocked back goblins(or his teammates) time to process what happened to their companions before roasting them with burning hands.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>After that, Mumbo put his hand up.  “Hold up.  I think after that…” he paused to think of the right words, “Display of force, I think we can talk the goblins into surrendering.”</span></p><p>
  <span>“Mumbo, 5 of them are already dead.  Wouldn’t it just be quicker to finish them off right here and now?” Grian asked impatiently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And a bit more evil,” Cub said, “Which is why we wanna try and show mercy.”</span>
</p><p><span>“And they are small and weak like us,” Mumbo added.  “They’re probably just trying their best like us.  Yes, they’re robbing people, but maybe if we show them </span><em><span>some</span></em><span> mercy, they’ll probably change their ways and be good.”</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>Grian sighed.  The warlocks were right.  He turned to Mumbo.  “This is your idea.  You get to talk to them.”</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Good luck Mumbo,” Zed said.  Out of game, he handed Mumbo his d6.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>Mumbo approached the goblins.  “You’ve seen what we can do.  Leave all the treasure you stole with us, pack up two carts, and leave.  We’ll even help you if you need it, but </span></p><p><span>if you stay and fight, things are going to get a lot worse.”</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Roll to convince the goblins,” Cleo said.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Do I have to roll persuasion or intimidation?” Mumbo asked.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Either or.”</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>Since intimidation probably fit the situation better, Mumbo went with that.  He rolled a 22.  The goblins, after watching these people wipe out half their band, and heard the mustached man’s words, fell down groveling.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Please don’t hurt us!”  The biggest one said. “We’ll leave and let you take everything!”</span><span><br/></span></p><p><span>And they ran back into the hole to grab their things as Scar and Zed went to pick the dead goblins out of the gold for a proper burial.  Upon further inspection, they found only two were actually dead.  Three were still feballey clinging onto life and were brought back with some healing spells.  However, once the goblins were conscious, they ran into the hole, not wanting to find out why their murderers would want to bring them back.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>Grian did some digging and found two diamonds the size of his fist.  After making an arcana check, he remembered these could be used by clerics to bring people back to life.  “These should help the goblins resurrect their friends.”  He said before handing them to Mumbo.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Okay, I’ll prep them for the journey,” Mumbo said, putting them in his pocket.</span><span><br/></span> <span>The rest of the goblins ran out of the hole, throwing everything they got in their hands in one cart while Mumbo cast gentle repose on the two dead in the back of the other cart.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>They all shook with fear.  “What are you doing?” one asked.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>He handed them the two diamonds.  “These are to help bring your friends back.  Take your friends and the diamonds to a cleric and ask them to resurrect your friends.  They shouldn’t turn undead in the time in between.</span><span><br/></span></p><p><span>The goblins were thankful for the kindness and left.</span><span><br/></span> <span>Grian and gang decided to go into the cave, and found, along with some abandoned goblin tools, a bigger, more undisturbed pile of treasure, and 10 bags of holding.</span></p><p>
  <span>“Holy crap.  How long have these goblins been robbing travelers?” Cub asked after the astonishment died down.</span>
</p><p><span>“I don’t know, but let’s bag this gold up,”  Grian said.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>They took the first bag they saw and started stuffing it, watching with amazement as it just swallows massive amounts of gold and gems.  They stopped once they heard groaning from the bag before loading into the cart.  Scar and Zed picked up the battle spilled treasure while Grian, Mumbo, and Cub stuffed the other 9 bags and tossed them into the wagon.  They were done with this task by nightfall, and they sat down to dinner, Mumbo distributing the snacks he won during level up.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Hey Scar, I got you something,” Zed said before pulling out a hardwood shield with a chip in the top.  “It’s not the best, but it should protect you a little,” he said, handing it to Scar.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>Scar was touched, but he gave Zed back the shield.  “I appreciate it, but you fight on the front lines more than I do.  You’ll need it more.”</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“No, no, you can have it.  I’ll be fine.”</span><span><br/></span> <span>Cub, Mumbo, and Grian watched them argue over who needed a wooden shield more like they forgot both of them messed up some goblins with only one spell each before Scar finally took the shield.  </span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>After dinner, Mumbo went around the back of the cart and busted the axel with a hatchet.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Dude, what are you doing?” Grian cried out in shock.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Busting the axel so no one steals the treasure,” Mumbo explained.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Oh, carry on.”</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>After the axel was sufficiently broken, Mumbo went back into the small hole where everyone else was.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Mumbo, get your elbow out of my ribs,” Cub said.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“Get your ribs out of my elbow,” Mumbo replied, moving his elbow.</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>“That doesn’t even make sense.”</span><span><br/></span> <br/><span>Mumbo stuck his tongue out at Cub before everyone settled in.  This was the first night in a while they felt safe during a rest.  Uncomfortable, but safe.</span></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Bonus scene:<br/>Cleo sat up all night looking for tankier monsters to face the party once they hit level 4.  They're already considerably powerful, even without he being nice to them, but she feels like throwing goblins at them next level up might end about as well as feeding mice to tigers.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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